FavStoriesOftheGIBear

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" ************TheEarlier 'StBearus'Pope*****************
(Note;any similarity in name is merely coincidental,an accident of History, if you will.
'Vladi' please verify authenticity of story with your sources in the Russian Orthodoxy Church.

In the latter days of the Roman Empire,
even though by then Christianity had become the official religion of the State.
Tensions regarding power ( with its associated jealousy and suspicion regarding wealth) still existed
between the Emperor and the Bishop of Rome culminating in an incident
where in a raid upon the Office of an early Bishop of Rome ,'St Bearus' was accosted by the Emperor's bodyguards
With a dagger at St Bearus' throat the bodyguards demanded:
"Disclose the location of your treasure."
St Bearus pointed thru an open window onto the street filled with Plebians and said:
"There is our treasure!"

*****************'DrLebadon'AppreciatesTheMysticAssistance*********
At a rehabilitation facility located in ...... 'Dr.Lebadon'-- a 'doctor of the mind' was given the thankless task of interacting with 'GIBear,'
Curious as regards the balance between scientific and mystic/ holistic(if any) approach to healing within the doctor,the 'GIBear' inquired........
............
"'GIBear',don't be a fool!If you have that,and believe it will help you recover,Why not utilize it?"
**************ADiplomaticResponseToProfRomanovskaya'sAbsurdity(whoCommitsTheReductoAdAbsurdum******* Come,come,Prof Romanovskaya.
why should we abandon the benefits of Science/Technology?
This would not make sense!
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*************TontoAndTheLoneRanger ***********************
'Tonto' and ' LoneRanger' were on patrol one day when they got lost
and found themselves in a canyon surrounded by Indians
Alarmed 'LoneRanger' said:
"Tonto we are in danger, we are surrounded by Indians!"
Upon which 'Tonto' replied:"What is this "we" ting you talk Paleface?"
********** 'Cyril'Andthe5Boats*********************************
'Cyril,'who tithed 10% regularly, was an upright,pios older small farmer who lived in a district near to a large river
which frequently overflowed and flooded nearby areas during rainy season.
One rainy season flooding occured. 'Cyril' attempting to escape danger found himself clinging to roof of house.
...The 1st boat,containing Jones and family stopped by
and Jones noting 'Cyril's' predicament moved his boat close and shouted:
"Cyril,come aboard before you drown."
Now even though 'Jonsie' had a very nice family,his wife was particularly garrulous and
'Cyril.'not wishing his ears to be assaulted replied:
"No its OK,Jahovah mi friend will save me."....
Jones&Fam sailed away.Next George Brown[neighbor ] and Family in their boat drew near to 'Cyril'.
Now Brown had a small plot of land next to Cyril' and raised some hogs,who were always
coming thru the fence on to Cyril's property and rooting up his yams,,,.
..... After the 5th boat sailed away Cyril tired slipped from roof and drowned,
Finding himself within 'ThePearlyGates,' he spotted Jahovah and asked:"Jahovah I thought you were my friend,
Why yuh mek me drown,why yuh never save me?"
.....So then Jahovah replied:
"But, Cyril,I sent 5 boats!"
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*****************TheManTheHorseAndTheWolf**********
Courtesy of Salvor Hardin,Mayor of Terminus(Asimov:"Foundation")
Has any Network Member ever attempted to place a saddle on a Horse,much less a bridle.
...Now the reason why this can be accomplished relatively easily now is because of s secret pact
entered into by TheHorse and TheMan.
Long time,The Horse and the Man shared a fearsome,common,enemy.....
So the horse... ...At which point the Man applied the spur and said "..Look to the West towards yon hills..Now,Lets move."
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************GeorgeDMysticBeatle*************************************
In many ways 'GeorgeH' lead guitarist was/is the most mystic of the Beatles
reflected in a strange incident between himself and his dentist late 60s/early 70s.
Shortly after his group achieved global fame at the end of the 60s
'GeorgeH' took some time off to visit India/Far East to learn to play Sitar & acquaint himself
with certain aspects of Eastern mysticism.
By an odd karma the week he returned to the West coincided with his dental appointment.
Finding himself in dental office.
His dentist says:
"George this procedure is somewhat painful so I will need to give you
a pain supression injection(preferred choice those days -- novocaine --)."
'GeorgeH' paused for a moment then replied:
"There is no need to give me that injection Doc. You see
I have recently discovered how to transcend dental medication."
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